Make Me Feel
by liisous
Summary: Elena is desperately trying to make herself feel something again after months of being numb from her parents accident. Rated M for dark themes, violence and language.
1. Prologue

Hi! Old, new story coming up. I posted this on my old account and decided to re-write and re-port it here. It's an cross-over between The Vampire Diaries and True Blood.

**Warning: Violence, language, dark themes. **

_Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries or True Blood._

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Ever since her parents died a few months ago, Elena had felt numb. She had gone from happy to depressing in a matter of days. She had stopped living her life, because it seemed as if she didn't have anything to live for anymore.

Of course, that wasn't true. She had her best friends, Meredith, Bonnie, Caroline and Stefan. She had her boyfriend, Damon. She had her brother, Jeremy. She was happy to have them in her life, and they were probably the only reason why she was still alive. If it weren't for them, she would have killed herself the same day she heard the news about her parents.

But she was desperately trying to find ways to feel again. She was tired of not feeling anything but empty, hollow and cold as a rock. She was constantly trying to find any kind of thrilling, exciting ways to rock her world and make it spin upside down; but every time she tried, she failed. And she was sick of it.

That was why she had run away from the town she knew so well, Mystic Falls, and left everyone she loved behind. That was why she was right in this moment on her way to Bon Temps, Louisiana. She had heard of a bar near Bon Temps called "Fangtasia". Elena knew she was acting disrespectful to Damon, and running away from home, from him, had been the hardest thing she had even done in her life. Leaving Damon, when he wanted nothing than to protect her and help her back to the girl she was before the tragic accident, she knew she wouldn't be able to forgive herself for this. She just hoped Damon would.

As Elena was slowly approaching the bar, she was a little surprised to its look. It most certainly didn't look like a vampire-bar. Elena went to the door and was met by a drop-dead gorgeous woman. Her blonde hair hung around her face like a shell, her eyes burning with tension as she studied Elena up and down a few times.

"Can I help you with something?" the woman asked, obviously annoyed.

"Well, you could start by letting me in." Elena answered, showing off the same annoyance as the woman before her. She hadn't come here to play any games or get rejected by some woman who clearly lived too high above the ground.

The womans eyes snapped up and locked with Elena's, an even bigger fire burning in them as she stared into Elena's eyes, obviously trying to burn holes in them. She snorthed, and then suddenly laughed. Elena frowned, wondering what her problem was.

"Touché. Well, if you must, then please, come in." Sarcasm dripped from her voice, "But I warn you, we bite."

"I'm well aware of that." Elena muttered as she slipped past the woman and walked into the club. The sound of a high pitch laughter echoed in Elena's ears until it faded and was replaced by the loud music inside. The bar was dark, decorated in black and red, and women stood on the tables, dancing like whores. As a blur to her sight, they were dancing in human speed one minute and in vampire speed the other. _How classy_, Elena thought as she went over to the bar. She would waste no time being sober here, at least until she found who she was looking for.

She had heard about a guy who would do anything you wanted for the right price. Elena had thought about this, not once, but twice before deciding she was actually going to do it. It had been living hell trying to keep this from Damon, but she had managed.

Now, here she was. She had gottne a description of the man. He was suppose to be black, tall, have dark eyes and really, really short dark hair. The person she had got the information from said he shouldn't be hard to track down..

A few hours passed and Elena was getting a little tipsy from all the drinks she had confusmed when she finally saw the man she was looking for. He didn't look like the kind of man who did anything he was asked, even if it was for the right price. But Elena didn't come here to judge people from their looks, so she pushed her thoughts away and walked over to him and grabbed his elbow.

"What the hell?"

"I have heard you exchange favours for the right kind of price." Elena whispered as she eyes him with determined eyes.

"That's right." He said, "What can I help you with?"

"Can we possibly take this somewhere more.. private?"

"Yes, of course."

The man got out of Elena's hold and instead grabbed him by the wrist to lead her out of the club. He turned left outside and walked a few metres before turning left again, causing them to end up in the alley behind the club. It was dark, besides from a little street covering the corner far back in the alley.

"What can I help you with?" He repeated, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I want you to make me feel." Elena said, "Anything."

"Mh-hm, I see." He nodded, "What kind of favour were you thinking about?"

Elena turned her gaxe down at the street, "I want you to hit me."

"Excuse me?"

"I want you to hit me," Elena repeated. She had literally tried everything she could manage to try by herself; she had been speeding, way over the limit, she had gone on a motorcycle, she had even tried hitting herself. But she wasn't strong enough, her hitting didn't make any impact on her. None of the things she did made her feel anything.. at all.

"There are a few things you need to know before we continue this affair." The man said, "First; I want the money in advance. Cash only. Second; you can not, under any circumstances, tell anybody what I have done for - or to - you. And third, I don't intend to have regular costumers. These, favours as you call them, is not something I offer very often. They are rarely given."

"Of course," Elena nodded, "I understand."

"Where do you want to be hit?" The man asked, shrugging. "And what do you want me to hit you with?"

"Right here." Elena drew away her hair from her face and covered her cheek with her palm, showing the man exactly where to hit. She knew she would be bruised, but there was always make-up, or she could just tell everyone she fell down the stairs or something. "With your fist."

"Okay then. Let's get to business, it will cost you $200."

Elena handed the money over and stood up straight, she didn't dare to look the man in the eyes. He must probably think she is crazy for wanting to be hit. What kind of woman wants to be hit by a man, willingly for that matter. It was pretty insane. But she was desperate, and she would do anything she possibly could to feel, anything. It may be pain, but that would be enough. As long as she was feeling again, it would be enough.

"Do you want to be hit once, or repeatedly?"

"That depends; if you hit hard enough, it will be enough with once."

Elena could sense his eyes on her and nodded, as if giving him permission to begin his 'favour'. She closed her eyes, waiting for his fist to collide with her cheek. If anyone had told her she would be standing here, in an alley with an un-known man, waiting to be hit, she would have laughed at them and simply believed they were crazy. Look who's crazy now, Elena thought.

It's almost fascinating how fast things can change, how easy your whole world can be urned upside down and become a living hell. Elena thought back to the day when her parents died, how their car had flipped off Wickery Bridge, into the water. Her father had lost focus on the road for a few seconds and that was it; they were down in the water. That was the end for them, and Elena couldn't stop asking herself why she had survived when her parents didn't.

She sighed, snapped out of her thoughts when she heard the man before her take a few deep breaths, preparing himself. She was praying, to whatever God there might be, that she would feel again after this. If it was painful enough, maybe she would snap back on the right track again and become, maybe not fully, the same girl she was a few months ago. She needed to be, not only for herself, but for the people she loved.

As a final cue, the man cleared his throat disturbingly before pulling back his fist, curved it into a ball and then with full force pushed it through the air until it collided with Elena's face. Her eyes stayed closed, and she could feel a gust of wind right before she felt the connection between her skin and his fist. Her body rotated so she was facing the end of the alley as she fell down to her knees.

Seconds passed and she felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. Tears burned behind her eyelids as she stood up and faced the man once again.

"Do it again." Elena breathed, "And do it harder."

The man drew back his fist again as Elena closed her eyes, once again afraid to meet his eyes. Her breathing had increased, sha almost choked on her breath as his fist once again collided with her cheek and turned her the other way around. This time she fell so she was half lyin gon the ground, but she still felt nothing.

Had her parents death turned her into a state of never feeling anything again? Or was this man simply not trying hard enough? Didn't he use all his strength, like she had asked him to? _Why wasn't she feeling anything? She should be feeling pain!_

For the third time, Elena stood up and faced the man. She was becoming frustrated and angry at herself, but also at this man. She yelled at him to hit her again, she was yelling things to let out her anger, and build up an anger inside of him, which he could act out on her. And it seemed to work, for a split second when Elena looked into the man's eyes, it looked like he saw red, and just as she closed her eyes again, she felt his fist collide with her cheek for the third time. And this time, as she fell down towrads the ground, the pain hit her hard. And fast.

Elena heard the deep intake of breath the man drew and she heard herself sob hysterically. Her chest rose heavily up and down as she tried to control herself. The pain struck her like lightning, it went through her whole body, all the way from her toes up to the top of her head. It all came back to her, all the pain and guilt she was feeling since her parents died.

It had worked. She was feeling.

The man mumbled something before walking back the same way they had earlier walked together and disappeared behind the corner of the wall. Elena didn't care enough to thank him for what he had done, she laid still on the ground, sobbing and laughing at the same time. She must have looked crazy. But she didn't care. She was feeling. For the first time in months, she was feeling!

The Gods must have responded to her prayers. That was the only solution she had; they must have responded.

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**Thoughts? **_Be kind & review :)_

A/N: I'm really happy with how this story turned out and as I was re-writing it, I was thinking about making this into a longer story. I will only post more chapters if the interest is there for you readers! Anyways, I've never written anything like this before so it's pretty new. Bear with me!


	2. Four Months Earlier

Hi guys! Decided to try and make this into a multi chapter story. I know the potential is there, I just don't know if I have the same potential. That is why I would be so so so happy if you would take the time to review each chapter. That would help me so much, both to make this story as good as it deserves to be but also to become a better writer. So, please, take a minute after reading to leave me your thoughts :)

**Warning: Violence, language, dark themes. **

_Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries (or True Blood)._

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**Four months earlier ~ May 24th, 2009**

Elena woke up to the sound of beeping machines. As she opened her eyes, they stared at a ceiling she wasn't familiar with. Questions started forming in head instantly, wondering where she was. Looking to her left, she saw a table covered in cards and flowers. Turning her head to the right, she saw the form of her sleeping boyfriend, Damon. She tried to move but her whole body protested against it. Every muscle in her body was aching and screaming at her to be still.

Instead, she swallowed hard, which was quite difficult as well. Dry coughs escaped her mouth, causing Damon to stir in his chair.

"Elena," he was beside her in a second, "you're awake." A sigh of relief came from his lips.

"Damon, what happened? What's going on?"

"You don't remember?" His eyebrows furrowed on his forehead as he looked into her eyes.

"Remember what?" Elena asked.

"Let me call for the doctor." Damon stood up and went out in the hallway to get a doctor.

_What is going on here, _Elena thought. _Why couldn't she remember what had happened?_

"I'm glad to see you're awake, Elena." Dr Meredith Fell said, coming through the door with Damon. "How are you feeling?"

Elena thought for a moment, "Sore."

"That's understandable." Meredith smiled, "Do you remember anything from yesterday, Elena?"

Elena tried to remember what had happened last night. She remember she had been at a party with Caroline, and had a little too much to drink, but after that, nothing. Somehow, her mind went completely black. "I remember I was at a party. With Caroline. But I can't remember anything after that, I can't remember how I got home."

A sad expression filled both Meredith and Damon's faces as they looked down at Elena.

"What's wrong?" Elena asked.

"I'm really sorry to tell you this, but your parents and yourself was involved in a car accident last night."

_Car accident? But how.. Was her parents okay?_

"My parents." Elena said, "Are they okay? Where are they?"

"They didn't make it, Elena. I'm really sorry. They died at the scene."

Elena couldn't believe the words coming out of Meredith's mouth. _They were dead? Her parents were dead?_

"How?"

"Your car went off Wickery Bridge into the water. As the paramedics were getting you out of the car, there were complications. When they were going after your parents, it was already too late."

"Why can't I remember anything?"

"You're still in shock, Elena. Your memory will slowly come back to you with time."

Elena didn't know what to say. Or think. She could feel Damon's eyes on her, watching her, and he had sat down beside her on the bed to hold her hand. But she couldn't feel any of it.

Her parents were dead.

They were gone.

Forever.

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**Thoughts? **_Be kind & review :)_

A/N: Short chapter! It was kind of a filler; to explain how the whole accident had happened and where Elena's numbness started. I got this idea last night, where I thought it would be cool to bring the story back a few months to where it all began. Next chapter will contain a lot more of Elena's thoughts about the accident and her parents death, I promise! I guess you've already noticed that I changed the way the accident happened. I know that there wasn't any paramedics there to take them out of the water, but I wanted to make it a little more realistic and not use so much of the vampirism in the beginning. I hope you like it!


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